Oct 15, 2008

Kittens, Husbands and French Maids OH MY

As I think..and over think..and think some more about my move to Chicago to be with The Girlfriend...I keep thinking of all the things I'll miss.

While I'll miss my parents, my friends, and my coworkers.. I've complained to The Girlfriend that I'll miss having a furry creature to love. This is a problem. I've always had pets, I love animals.. but The Girlfriends roommate does not.

A dog is out of the question, he hates cats, so he'll probably hate a house rabbit.. regardless I'm excited to live with him and just adore him but in order to see if it wasn't just him denying me pet ownership (maybe she secretly doesn't want animals either but makes him look like the bad guy) i asked ...

Me "Sooo say it were just you and I living together.. would you let me get a kitten? It could be like..our little baby and I'd love it and hold it and squeeze it?"

Her " sure!"

Me "oh.. so .. i dooo have a nice girlfriend who would give me all the puppies and kittens i ever wanted?"

Her "Yes, except your girlfriends HUSBAND doesn't want any"

- "girlfriends husband" it's so true the girlfriend and the roommate are a total married couple, both gay but an excellent friendship and partnership..so it's definitely like moving in with another set of parents. Hey at least I'll have him around to lift heavy things and attempt to put together things I buy from ikea... and she can cook for me! (my job is to clean..in a french maids outfit)

Moving sounds like bliss.. except for the kitten part...

Lori C and the Beaver Bunch

Meet Lori C! We've actually never met in person, but have talked a few times at the insistence of a mutual friend.. until Lori and I actually do get a chance to meet up and eat the sushi we've been promising.. I get to know her via her vlogs! (yes much cooler than a blog.. sorry)

Anyway.. she is a part of The Beaver Bunch .. " five very different LGBTQ members have come together to break stereotypes, discuss the world at large, and answer your questions."

She's Miss Tuesday! So catch her vlogs each and every tuesday at the beaver bunch.

Oct 13, 2008

Moving Panic

So The Girlfriend asked me to move in with her..and her roommate (i love him, a strapping handy handsome gay man).. and panic has ensued

The Rent
I have never paid rent. I'm moving to a big city without a big job and I am contributing rent. At first The Girlfriend suggest I not pay as much as the two of them did because I'd be sharing a room and wouldn't have my own space and because i won't be making as much as she does. Financially that sounds lovely, considering it's..kind of a lot. But I want everything to be equal, I never want there to be any money conflicts. Besides, I will feel that the apartment is less mine. So the goal is to pay exactly one third.

I don't want her to be my sugar mama.. I mean.. take me out to dinner and make me cupcakes for breakfast but don't give me a deal on the rent. The deal is..that I'm going to at least try to pay the one third of the rent and if for some reason (say new job search issues.. ) if I struggle to get the one third, she'll cover what I can't... I'm going to avoid that at all costs. While we have an age difference and a job/career status difference (she's got a job, I'm in school) I just don't want to feel like the baby in the relationship you know? I don't want her to take care of me like that.. at least not at this stage of the relationship.

The Space
Then.. I started freaking out about the space. Their apartment is beautiful and perfect for two people but not for three, and they love it so much they want to stay as long as possible (so out goes the three bedroom i found on craigslist) While we'll share the bigger room with a private bathroom, The Girlfriend has SO MUCH STUFF.. SOOOOO MUCH STUFF (i should know, i moved it all) and I don't know where I'll possibly find room to bring my stuff. I'll probably only bring essential wardrobe, laptop/ipod/phone gadgetry, and beautification supplies. That's it, no picture frames with memories of home.. no art work.. nothing to make the place really mine.

Also.. every thing's already decorated, and that's great. Every things really nice. But it isn't mine you know? It's her bed, her art, her bedspread.. her pink kitchen utensils (mine are red haha).. Again.. I worry that this will make me feel like its THEIR place..not OUR place. Will it feel like an extended sleepover?

I confessed my concerns to The Girlfriend and she was deeply offended that I didn't think she'd do everything to make it feel like OUR place. "I'll get rid of stuff!" she said. "I'll make space in my closet!" ... "You don't like my bed? I thought you said you thought it was sexy?!" .. I do I do.. I just want it to be OURS

I'm sure this is something every couple faces as they move in together. I'm sure this is normal for the person moving in to the already completed space. But I have to hash this out before I get there. Luckily I have a really patient girlfriend.

Independence
To top it off, while discussing the move with my mother (who cried during the whole conversation about her only child leaving) she said..

"I just feel like you're moving from one mother..and in with another mother" meaning The Girlfriend is definitely the caretaker type (as am i but she's much more dominant and motherly than I) and that.. I won't really know what it's like to live "on my own" because I'll have her taking care of me..



Again.. I am excited.. just scared. I want it to all work out great. I want everything to be smooth. I worry too much, and The Girlfriend is way too laid back. It makes for an interesting pair.

The Big Move Question

So its been a while, I probably start a majority of my posts this way. I'm sorry. With school, work, a long distance love.. it's a lot to keep up with.

The Girlfriend recently came to my neck of the woods, something that is rare because her work schedule makes is difficult to come here, and besides.. I love going to her big city. So she came for a weekend and we had a great time. Her first morning there my mother tried stealing her away from me by seducing her with craftiness (a literal craftiness example: scrap booking). My mom showered her with gifts of scrapbook supplies (a hobby they share) and the two had a blast talking and playing. I sat off to the side pouting. When I came out at 16 to my mother, I never thought I'd one day have to compete with her for my girlfriends attention. I'm so grateful. They're adorable together. My mom wants to trade me for her.. I explained that she was lucky enough to get us as a package deal.

She even baked cookies especially for my dad. Needless to say my parents continue to fall more and more in love with her every time they see her. My mother even threw herself on my bed in protest on her leaving as she packed. It was adorable.

We had a great time with my family and friends but it was jammed packed. With our infrequent visits we are always trying to do as much as possible when we are together, and it's exhausting.. The day she left, as she drove back to her big city life, I called and confessed that I could not possibly handle the distance anymore, that my bed felt cold and empty (even though i complain that she gets too warm at night), my heart was sore, and my eyes swollen from crying like a baby every time our weekends together end. I told her I was tired of packing everything into a weekend.. I was tired of not seeing her when I wake up.. I was tired.. just plain exhausted and that it was time I do something about it. I vaguely suggested that within the next couple months I was going to take the steps to either get closer to Chicago, or actually live there...and that's when she said it..

"well maybe you should move in with me next semester and think about going to school here.."

whaaaat?
really?
seriously?

This is big considering the first time we talked about this she freaked and the conversation led to a break for her to figure out exactly what she wanted...

So I said Ok. I told my mom, she cried. I told the family I nanny for.. they panicked... I opened a new bank account and devised a subsequent plan to save for a move shortly after the holidays. I don't think anyone really believes I'll do it. I've been comfortable here, at home at my small little community college, living with my parents, and avoiding the big steps I need to make towards my career and just growing up. It's time. I have a great city and a loving girlfriend waiting for me.

I'm moving in!