I'm Back.. I swear..

I want to be a good blogger.
Really I do.
I have so many funny stories to tell about my crazy dating life..and so much more.. yet I'm terrible at keeping this updated.

I think a lot of it has to do with a recent break up.. two months ago my darling girlfriend and I broke up.. I'll keep this short and sweet. She got cold feet about the degree of seriousness we were reaching. She broke my heart. I was a mess, but a healthy and positive mess. During this time apart. I decided to just remain positive, pine for her, but also experiment a little.

I was physically intimate with a man. Yes..no longer am I a gold star lesbian. Was it worth it? I don't know. I learned a lot about relationship dynamics and gender. Men are physically/sexually manipulating, where as women are more emotionally manipulative. Neither is better in my book. The sex part? Not as interesting and stimulating as I thou ht it'd be (i didn't have high hopes though). It was more or less an experiment, something I thought I'd try. I've always been sexually (but not emotionally) attracted to men (i hate that i have to label myself but that is how our society functions). So I thought.. ok, I'm single and a little emotionally distraught, I'll try this out. Well I tried it. I'm over it..end of story there.

This summer also was blessed with Katy Perrys hit single "I kissed a girl" which I am proud to report, opened a lot of straight girls up to the idea of kissing a girl. Insert ME. The areas resident lesbian. I have had a handful of straight girls interested in having a girl-girl kiss. Is this a pro or con to the song? Both! Fun kissing,and not so fun straight girl lusting. Actually though, it really has made for a fun and interesting summer, especially when there is drinking involved.

Forget about me though. I've seen many of my straight female friends locking lips this summer. I think they share mutual attractions. I mean, really, women are beautiful, women have enough sense to notice the beauty of other women. It really comes down to, "kissing girls is soooo nice! They're so soft!" I've heard this a lot lately. Well congrats to all my favorite straight women, you have experimented! Now, stop breaking all the poor lesbians hearts.

This whole.. bi curious awakening had a little bit of an effect of me. I had a short lived crush on the bi curious sister of my very best friend. We both realized it was a bad idea though, fun for week or so..but she likes boys.We both had broken hearts well, and it was nice for the two of us to have someone to talk to about it. We became really close as friends as a result. I'm a lucky girl.

Ok so a boy, random straight girl kisses, yadda yadda... I was still feeling completely empty after all of it. I missed my girlfriend. I was very much in love with her still. However, she came to visit about a month after the break up. We met for lunch and went shopping and everything was perfect. It was like we never broke up. We kissed.. We held hands. It was lovely. It left me with a lot of questions though. Fast forward another month. I went to visit her in her fabulous new adopted city and we spent an entire beautiful weekend together. She admitted to having cold feet. She apologized. She asked me to be her girlfriend.

We are back together and more in love than ever. Everyone kept using that cliche line. "if you love her let her go".. everyone said to be patient. They were right.
If it's meant to be, it'll be. Everything happens for a reason. And this.. made us stronger.

So from now on this blog will be filled with advice, lesbian related news, and the funny stories my girlfriend and I seem to be constantly creating.

Happy happy happy

I haven't updated in a whilel because i feel sort of guilty.. I'm not single anymore!

I'm in an amazing stable and strong relationship that I am so very proud of.. I'm the luckiest girl. I feel safe, loved, and comfortable. We're honest and give and recieve equally.. and things are just going really well.

We're already three hours apart but she'll soon be moving for a job that will make us five hours apart..I'm not looking forward to the distance but I'm really excited for her, a big city, a new job, a new place... a great place for me to visit.
The move has opened up some of my insecurity issues, but these are my own, and not hers, so I must deal with them and be stronger than my thoughts.

Other than that things really are great with us. Our friends like us, our families like us.. I couldn't ask for more.


In other news, Season 5 of the L Word has started.. it's already on episode three and I'm a little bummed that there hasn't been more sex.. ehhhh.. am I a perv? Probably.. but come on, we see enough heterosexual sex scenes..and we finally get a show for us and they're lacking on the good stuff. That's alright, I love the show so I shouldn't be complaining..

more later..

I survived

I survived meeting the parents! I was so nervous though! So nervous that I had to buy a new outfit and thank god I have stylist friends ..because I even had fabulous hair for the night.

I got there in the evening and met her parents when they got home from work.. her mom was quiet at first after a rough day... but it was fine. Then we had to rush out for a party and then dinner.. so I didn't get to spend much time talking with them. I did, however, sit and talk a little in the morning with crazy morning hair.. and they seemed adorable and friendly. And they apparently thought I was cute.

Sooo I survived, no reason to be as nervous as I was.. I'm sure I'll seem them soon during the holidays..

Jodie Foster Comes Out? Well it's about time.

Yay to Jodie Foster who kinda came out !

Christmas Party Date and Meeting the Parents

Well well.. Things with the new love interest are progressing well.

Unfortunately the distance is no fun, but we're making the best of it. We spent last weekend together and I even invited her as my date to my works christmas party. She still likes me after a couple drinks on an empty stomach induced a fabulous display of Soulja Boy's "Super Man" dance infront of the resturant.

My parents both really like her.. so much so they mention it often and ask questions about her and when they'll be seeing her next. My friends really like her too, and of course, so do I.

This friday I'll be meeting her parents, who she is sort of newly out to. I'm excited and nervous.. and I have no idea what to wear.

I'll update on how it goes though! :D

Everything Happens For A Reason....Right?

I swear.. I have some ironic luck.

I meet someone absolutely amazing, like no one I've ever met before..
and she's contimplating a move 6 hours away.

Of course it's way to soon in getting to know her to say.."Don't Move!" but I just have this feeling that if the move happens I'll be missing out on getting to know (that is in the context that I want) one of the most wonderful women I've ever met. But her opportunity to go is a good one, it'd be exciting, no doubt about it and I'm supportive! I am! I'm just going to be disappointed if it happens. But it's a maybe.. We'll see. I'm not trying to be a negative-nancy about the opportunity for her to move, really I'm not...I'm sure she knows this. I really think it'd be great for her. I just wish our timing was better.

What ever happens, happens. If it's meant to be it'll be...
Everything happens for a reason.
I just have to keep living by that.

Until she figures it out we're going to enjoy getting to know eachother and have fun, and that's really all that matters ....

Women like her seriously are a rarity, not just in the lesbian community but in general. In the michigan lesbian community however, she's a UNICORN... (a unicorn? yes.. a myth, a fairytale, rare, ect..ect..) attractive, kind, funny, selfless, funny, driven, happy.. I could rant forever about how wonderful she is but I'm sure you get the point.

Lesbian Communication Dynamics!

Monday in my social psychology class my teacher gave us a handout, the handout was a dialouge between a man and woman in a relationship.. we were supposed to read it.. examine it, explain it.. it was basically a woman trying to have an important conversation about their relationship and the man thinking of everything esle in it.. anyways.. it was a lesson on communication in relationships. Unfortunately it was focuses soley on heterosexual relationships. ..I couldn't help but interject the communication dynamic of lesbians..

I think having one supreme communicator (female according to class) and one non-communicator (male according to class) in a relationship isn't just a stereotypically heterosexual dynamic.. I've always been the "over communicator" in my relationships.. and I've always seemed to end up with someone who is the opposite.. So I think this can happen in any kind of relationship gay or straight.. Yet I have been in relationships with women where it is two supreme communicators.. which was sort of interesting to bring up to class..

"imagine this dialouge between TWO WOMEN" ..
it's true.. it would have been full of passive agressive insecure over communication... sometimes i think lesbians, together, over analyze..over talk..

Anyway, it was nice to be able to interject a new dynamic for the class, the people I discussed this with got a kick out of it

Sorry, Really I am..

It's been a while I know.. and I had promised to update more. I really should have.. a lot has happened

- the previously mentioned relationship did not work out, too much back and forth.. she wasn't ready, wasn't over someone else, wasn't ready to dive into a "real relationship" ..she was new to it all.. About the time I had given up, she was finally ready to give in.. It just didn't work. We're far to different for eachother as well, something I tried to push aside during the chase. I also learned through this..not to settle. The old me would have stayed in it for fear of being alone.. the new me doesn't need to be in a relationship, being in one is an added bonus to my already very full and lovely life.. I'm proud of this step :)

- last month I was a guest on a panel discussing LGBT issue. Much of my participation had to deal with lesbian stereotypes and coming out with few positive role models. I was the "femme" lesbian on the panel. It was interesting.. I made some new friends and I provided a positive example for the class that was participating.

- I recently spoke to H (my first girlfriend) who has moved to a big city post college and is in the process of starting a transition from female to male. It was really interesting to find this out.. I had known for the last year that it's been something on her mind, but it's still really surprising to me because the H. I knew was really feminine.. but this was a result of the conditioning from her parents. Now that she is free to be herself, as an adult, H. now feels more comfortable to transition. I'm fully supportive and I'm she feels comfortable telling me about her new life changes. It's nice to have her in my life still..

- After breaking it off with previously mentioned relationship ( she will be known as N. ) .. I met someone.. it was a fluke..really. A friend from high school was insisting I meet a new friend of his. I didn't really trust his judgment but I agreed to meet her anyways.. annnnd I couldn't have been more wrong. My friend was right.. she's pretty much amazing and perfect for me.. we have so much in common and she appreciates the quirky things about me that few others have, this is because we share some of the same quirks. She's really great.. my friends like her, my parents love her.. I could rant forever. She lives 2.5 hours away though.. But that's ok! We'll figure it out. She's a great girl and I'm excited to get to know her.

- I watched a lesbian movie today that appeared in my mailbox via netflix "It's in the water".. It was sort of campy.. but cute I guess.. not something I'd really suggest spending the time on...eh

A Century In The Closet..

Please take a moment to read this inspiring story at Newsweek about Loraine Barr who, at 88, just came out of the closet.

Eh..Updates!

Ok OK Ok ! I know.. i'm so bad at this.. but I promise I'll get better! Really!

a few things..

1)I met a girl.. I was/am crazy about her.. the chase was a rough one. We're very good together as friends but.. then we crossed that "more than friends" line and it was confusing and she didn't know what she wanted and... yadda... we're in a.. RELATIONSHIP now..so we'll see how that goes.

2. Is it a myth that all lesbians like oral sex? Are there lesbians out there that do not?.. Oral sex is a topic I really need to touch base on.

3. Insecurity. I'm having a lot of insecurity issues in the new relationship.. based on past relationships.. and I'm trying to find positive ways to overcome this..

4. Recently an 88 year old woman came out of the closet.. I'll post the story.. it's a must read

5. This Senator Craig Business is disgusting.. It never fails to suprise me when a self hating republican gets outted..

6. More to come..I promise.. I do..