Kittens, Husbands and French Maids OH MY

As I think..and over think..and think some more about my move to Chicago to be with The Girlfriend...I keep thinking of all the things I'll miss.

While I'll miss my parents, my friends, and my coworkers.. I've complained to The Girlfriend that I'll miss having a furry creature to love. This is a problem. I've always had pets, I love animals.. but The Girlfriends roommate does not.

A dog is out of the question, he hates cats, so he'll probably hate a house rabbit.. regardless I'm excited to live with him and just adore him but in order to see if it wasn't just him denying me pet ownership (maybe she secretly doesn't want animals either but makes him look like the bad guy) i asked ...

Me "Sooo say it were just you and I living together.. would you let me get a kitten? It could be like..our little baby and I'd love it and hold it and squeeze it?"

Her " sure!"

Me "oh.. so .. i dooo have a nice girlfriend who would give me all the puppies and kittens i ever wanted?"

Her "Yes, except your girlfriends HUSBAND doesn't want any"

- "girlfriends husband" it's so true the girlfriend and the roommate are a total married couple, both gay but an excellent friendship and partnership..so it's definitely like moving in with another set of parents. Hey at least I'll have him around to lift heavy things and attempt to put together things I buy from ikea... and she can cook for me! (my job is to clean..in a french maids outfit)

Moving sounds like bliss.. except for the kitten part...

The Big Move Question

So its been a while, I probably start a majority of my posts this way. I'm sorry. With school, work, a long distance love.. it's a lot to keep up with.

The Girlfriend recently came to my neck of the woods, something that is rare because her work schedule makes is difficult to come here, and besides.. I love going to her big city. So she came for a weekend and we had a great time. Her first morning there my mother tried stealing her away from me by seducing her with craftiness (a literal craftiness example: scrap booking). My mom showered her with gifts of scrapbook supplies (a hobby they share) and the two had a blast talking and playing. I sat off to the side pouting. When I came out at 16 to my mother, I never thought I'd one day have to compete with her for my girlfriends attention. I'm so grateful. They're adorable together. My mom wants to trade me for her.. I explained that she was lucky enough to get us as a package deal.

She even baked cookies especially for my dad. Needless to say my parents continue to fall more and more in love with her every time they see her. My mother even threw herself on my bed in protest on her leaving as she packed. It was adorable.

We had a great time with my family and friends but it was jammed packed. With our infrequent visits we are always trying to do as much as possible when we are together, and it's exhausting.. The day she left, as she drove back to her big city life, I called and confessed that I could not possibly handle the distance anymore, that my bed felt cold and empty (even though i complain that she gets too warm at night), my heart was sore, and my eyes swollen from crying like a baby every time our weekends together end. I told her I was tired of packing everything into a weekend.. I was tired of not seeing her when I wake up.. I was tired.. just plain exhausted and that it was time I do something about it. I vaguely suggested that within the next couple months I was going to take the steps to either get closer to Chicago, or actually live there...and that's when she said it..

"well maybe you should move in with me next semester and think about going to school here.."

whaaaat?
really?
seriously?

This is big considering the first time we talked about this she freaked and the conversation led to a break for her to figure out exactly what she wanted...

So I said Ok. I told my mom, she cried. I told the family I nanny for.. they panicked... I opened a new bank account and devised a subsequent plan to save for a move shortly after the holidays. I don't think anyone really believes I'll do it. I've been comfortable here, at home at my small little community college, living with my parents, and avoiding the big steps I need to make towards my career and just growing up. It's time. I have a great city and a loving girlfriend waiting for me.

I'm moving in!

Happy happy happy

I haven't updated in a whilel because i feel sort of guilty.. I'm not single anymore!

I'm in an amazing stable and strong relationship that I am so very proud of.. I'm the luckiest girl. I feel safe, loved, and comfortable. We're honest and give and recieve equally.. and things are just going really well.

We're already three hours apart but she'll soon be moving for a job that will make us five hours apart..I'm not looking forward to the distance but I'm really excited for her, a big city, a new job, a new place... a great place for me to visit.
The move has opened up some of my insecurity issues, but these are my own, and not hers, so I must deal with them and be stronger than my thoughts.

Other than that things really are great with us. Our friends like us, our families like us.. I couldn't ask for more.


In other news, Season 5 of the L Word has started.. it's already on episode three and I'm a little bummed that there hasn't been more sex.. ehhhh.. am I a perv? Probably.. but come on, we see enough heterosexual sex scenes..and we finally get a show for us and they're lacking on the good stuff. That's alright, I love the show so I shouldn't be complaining..

more later..

Everything Happens For A Reason....Right?

I swear.. I have some ironic luck.

I meet someone absolutely amazing, like no one I've ever met before..
and she's contimplating a move 6 hours away.

Of course it's way to soon in getting to know her to say.."Don't Move!" but I just have this feeling that if the move happens I'll be missing out on getting to know (that is in the context that I want) one of the most wonderful women I've ever met. But her opportunity to go is a good one, it'd be exciting, no doubt about it and I'm supportive! I am! I'm just going to be disappointed if it happens. But it's a maybe.. We'll see. I'm not trying to be a negative-nancy about the opportunity for her to move, really I'm not...I'm sure she knows this. I really think it'd be great for her. I just wish our timing was better.

What ever happens, happens. If it's meant to be it'll be...
Everything happens for a reason.
I just have to keep living by that.

Until she figures it out we're going to enjoy getting to know eachother and have fun, and that's really all that matters ....

Women like her seriously are a rarity, not just in the lesbian community but in general. In the michigan lesbian community however, she's a UNICORN... (a unicorn? yes.. a myth, a fairytale, rare, ect..ect..) attractive, kind, funny, selfless, funny, driven, happy.. I could rant forever about how wonderful she is but I'm sure you get the point.