Sep 13, 2008

Lesbian Weddings

This is a little belated but I saw this the other day and it gave me chills. Congrats to Ellen and Portia here is a video about their wedding..




I want to get married!

Actually I brought the idea up to my mom the other day while applying makeup in the bathroom. I summoned her in and said I had something important to ask her. I always seem to do this.. ask her important things in the bathroom. She took her usual spot on the porcelain throne and looked up at me with those big brown "oh god..what now" mom eyes.

ME:"Soooooo lets say ...I wanted to get married.."
MOM:"mmmmmhmm"
ME:"to someone...like..The Girlfriend"
MOM:"mmhmmm.."
ME:"not now!not like this month or anything, not even this year, but one day!"
MOM:"uhh..huuuhhh.."
ME:"would you be supportive?"
MOM:"well.. sure"
ME:"i mean, would you help with the wedding..would you be there..would you pay for the food the open bar and dj?"
MOM:"..Um.. Yeah..Sure! I just.. don't want you rushing into anything..ok?"
ME:"I'm not! I'm not! I was just curious if you would be as supportive as you would if I was marrying a man"
MOM:"Can't we just all go to vegas?"
ME:"Um, no. I want everyone I've EVER MET to be there."
MOM"Oh GOD"

So, I don't know what that really means. I think when it happens, if it does (and I hope it does) my parents will really step up to the plate and be supportive. I'm sure of it. But they won't have to worry about it for a while. So says The Girlfriend.

I love her, I do. She's amazing. But she was married before, to a not so nice man. And having had that marriage under her belt puts a different spin on our future plans. She a little more cynical about dreamy plans than I would like. If we were to get married..she'd want something small and quiet.."I've already done a big wedding". That sort of puts a damper on things. I haven't "already done a big wedding". I haven't done all those things. I'm all dreamy in love and excited about spending my life with this girl. This is new to me, where she has already "been there, done that" and has seen it fail. I don't blame her for being guarded about our future after what she's been through, but it does pinch a little.

I just dedicated a whole post to marriage, I'm sure this will freak The Girlfriend out. Oh well, like she isn't used to me constantly talking about it anyways.

Ha

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

how do you know when you've met the person you're going to marry? i'm always curious about how people figure these things out...

slowdrug said...

It's different for everyone! I think for me.. it was silly things like making cupcakes for breakfast.. or the great books on her shelf.. or her random acts of kindness that she bestows on strangers.. its that feeling of being totally safe and comfortable and completely loved..

i wish i could answer that better..

Anonymous said...

That video made me cry in so many ways. Im so happy to see their vieo, but im hopelessly jealous and bitter with the rage of it. Im a lesbian of color, caribbean. and i know i'll never have that. i hope it works out for you

slowdrug said...

thanks so much claire for reading.. and commenting. I hope one day you'll get the equality you deserve. Where is it that you live?